LONG TERM FUCK BUDDIES
It's crazy but I hear stories all the time where couples are together for 4, 5 years, 8-10 years and then they have NOTHING to show for it (!?) I mean if you're BORED after 4 years then I'm sorry, something's WRONG. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I think that when you've found "The One," you'll wanna do everything together and wake up with a renewed passion for each other every single day and thank GOD for giving you more time to spend with your partner.
People fall into patterns/routines and they just stop trying because they wake up and go to sleep with the pussy/the dick Right There. It's Crazy!!! I know people who have been with somebody for 10 years and they have nothing to show for it-- meaning no kids, no marriage/ring. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying, because I'm not saying that a piece of paper making your union legitimate in the eyes of the law means anything, nor do pieces of metal on your fingers hold any meaning if your values and the way you live your life do not align with what your wedding bands represent.
What I'm trying to say is that if you find yourself with a man/woman for over 4 years and you don't see yourselves moving forward in a relationship and see something everlasting/concrete unfold-- Maybe it can be adopting a pet/(s) together, starting a business together, traveling the world together, building a home or having a family together, etc. (I'm not sorry for stating my opinions/beliefs if this may apply to you) -- But I feel like when you're with someone that you truly love, then you guys will want to make a LIFE together.
Cohabitation is not the same as love because when you're cohabitating with a "gf" or "bf" that you THINK you're in love with, but you don't actually WANT anything with them....then you're not really IN LOVE WITH THEM. When you've found your life partner, you'll want to accomplish things together.
Like if you're in a relationship with somebody for 4+ years & you've got NOTHING to show for it then you're not Together-Together. You're just Fuck buddies in my opinion because when you're WITH someone that you really love, you will want to BUILD something together & that's just my two cents. That's why I'm single because I haven't found a person I wanna fuckin build with yet. I'm building MYSELF.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE YOU’RE STUCK
IN AN UNFULFILLING RELATIONSHIP
Relationships are about equally giving and receiving. Most relationships also have a power dynamic attached to it. You might not think about it, but it’s there. There will usually be one person who is more powerful/authoritative and leads or guides the direction of how things go between you two, and then there is the more passive partner who goes along with whatever the leader of the relationship directs them to. So basically you will fall into one of two categories: either you’ll be in a powered relationship or you will be in an equal partnership.
You’re in a powered relationship when one partner gets what he or she wants MUCH MORE than the weaker partner. The relationship is mostly one-sided whereby the more powerful person usually gets what they want more often than the weaker partner. The reason why the less powerful partner gets what she or he wants is solely because the powerful partner acknowledges the fact that they have to appease their partner once in a while so that they can always have someone to boss around and control. The powerful partner acknowledges the fact that the subservient partner needs a leader, and is more than happy to foot the bill. Meanwhile the weaker partner will usually go along with the relationship and lets the more powerful partner call all the shots most of the time, just as long as they get what they want when they settle.
Let’s go deeper into the meaning of SETTLING. I will use an example here to demonstrate what I mean by settling. Let's pretend that you hate golf or sports, but because you get to spend time with your partner (since you put your relationship before your own wishes), you SETTLE by going along with your partner’s golfing adventures because you LITERALLY get to tag along for the ride and you don’t care if it’s something that you don’t like to do. You do it ANYWAY simply because it’s still time that you get to spend with your partner. Because the weaker partner is scared or afraid to state what they want, they end up SETTLING in their relationship.
Had the more powerful partner asked you what YOU wanted to do and sacrificed THEIR time to spend with you to do what YOU WANTED instead—it could be anything from going SHOPPING with you, going to the beach to swim with you even if they hate the water or the sun, or accompanying you to dance class with you even if he or she personally hates those things—then you would have an equal partnership because BOTH partners make sacrifices, play fair, and compromise with each other. Hence they are equals and they have an equal exchange; they are on equal footing and there is an fair amount of give and take in this scenario. To recap, in a POWERED RELATIONSHIP, the weaker partner settles by sacrificing their wishes for the sake of the relationship. They put the powerful partner’s wishes ahead of their own.
|An EQUAL PARTNERSHIP on the other hand is a union of equal footing. Both partners pull their weight, both contribute equally and both of them compromise and make sacrifices so everyone's happy or reached some sort of middle ground. They are a TEAM and they help each other out because they know that ultimately, their success in life will be attributed to having a strong backbone in their equal partnership. This equal partnership is what I would like to call the POWER COUPLE because they BOTH got it going on; they both know what’s up, and they both help each other out. They are there for each other through thick and thin and they will do whatever it takes to make things work because that is the COMMITMENT that they've made to each other when they said "I DO."
Remember that RELATIONSHIPS are about COMMUNICATION, COMPROMISE, & SACRIFICE. If you find yourself unhappy, TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!!! Don't go to your girlfriends or your buddies about it. TALK TO THE PERSON WHO IS THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM! You should ESPECIALLY NEVER talk to a person of the opposite sex about your "problem" because this goes back to my GUYS AND GIRLS ARE NEVER JUST FRIENDS video https://youtu.be/hHm_N_yM8uo, and that is that self-explanatory.
My firm stance is that if you're a Married Man, I HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING "FRIENDS" WITH YOU. YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN! THE END! So unless we have a business relationship where we do business together, I have nothing else to discuss with you. I don't care about your other business outside of what we do; our relationship is STRICTLY BUSINESS.